So, last night some combination of crackheads and/or the garden cholos who I caught siphoning gas from my truck last year, attempted to break into the bike cage at my place of residence. They got 1.5 locks out and made the door inoperable. I called the landlord to say, "fix the fucking cage, my sole transportation lives there."
I also left a note for the would-be thief:
"Dear Sir or Madame--he or she who so boldly attempted to break into the bike room on the night of May 26/27 2009:
If you are caught, I will break your fucking legs and beat you within an inch of your life. I promise pain and rage at a level that may make you wish you'd never been born.
I'll snap a picture of the (hopefully replaced) locks after work and be sure to register my ride with the man.