Friday, August 14, 2009

(reposting) Barathon IV: A New Hope

August 15th. 6pm at the Starting Line.
Route Map and Details ARE HERE!!!

It's time for Barathon and this year the teams got new colors: red, white and (motherf*@king) blue*. That's right, we're celebrating 'Merica.
So call Joe Six Pack, get your uncle out of rehab, fly your cousin in from Mississippi and (re)learn those words to the Star Spangled Banner because this time we're not humming it bitch.

A route map will be sent out shortly, detailing the rest of our glorious route. As before, we'll stay at each bar for 45 minutes: showing our athletic prowess for drinking, fraternizing with the bar patrons, and encouraging others to throw on a 'stache and join us. With five minutes to go Coach Stace or a Senior Captain will give a whistle blow signaling the five minute "down your drink and start stretching" warning.

We'll be giving Drunk of the Hour awards throughout the night, culminating in the Grandest Prize of All: 'Drunkest Person in America.' Aspire to win this, team because the winner gets a free Bald Eagle tattoo**

Barathon makes no guarantees. But we will guarantee you this: IT WILL BE THE GREATEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE.***

Encouraged/Bring to Barathon:
Winning Attitudes
Shortest Short Shorts
$$$ to buy drinks (Freedom is Not Free)
Face Painting (gotta show support to the team)
President Obama
Mustaches (obvs.)
Bedazzled Sweatbands
An Uncle Sam Costume

For the more visual folks out there, or those who can't read, feel free to look at the over 500 pictures taken at our last Barathon.

* Note to Canadians and other foreigners: Maple Leaves and other homeland patronage is permitted for those of you who hate freedom.
** Bald Eagle tattoo must be purchased indivdually and will not be paid for by Barathon.
*** May not necessarily be true, but it will be in the top 5.



  2. I'm trying to figure out how a costume made of ripe Zuccini could be considered 'merica.